“to mend a broken heart, take care of the bowl; take care of the bowl to mend a broken heart”
“배신은 실연 로 동일한 배이다”
私の生命の多くの時間私は多くの失望を得る。 私は私を裏切っている人々を好まない。 私は私に擬似である人々を好まない。 それは不運の日だった白いうそを言うことができるである。 そしてそれは信じ難い。 それはかなり愚か、実際にである。 私は私の日本人が今よいことを望む。 事は方法に私を解決していないことそれが実際に私を殺しているのでそれらがほしいと思いなさい! 正直に、私はなぜするべきことを人々に言う勇気を持っていないか。 それは非常に簡単知っているであるか。 ちょうどある日完全に行くと事が期待するがそれは合計の反対のであるために常に解決する。 それで、生命はモモではないし、私はそんなに期待できない。 これらのタイプの人々を取扱うことを学ばなければならない。 使用するか、またはあなたにあるタイプの人々。 私は一度裏切られ、私がこの人を再度信頼してもいいことを考えない。 私は彼女に私のすべてを置いた。 私はこれらの事彼女は私の言うことがわかることができることを彼女が女性であるおよび私は考えたので彼女に言った。 私は私達が従って近いあったので彼女が誰か他の人に私を選ぶことを考えた。 彼女は彼女が彼をたくさん好むように私に言った。 私は彼にすべてを言ったかもしれない。 しかし私は私が彼女を尊重したので。 私は点にまた値するか。
“sometimes I wish I had the power to steal your heart”
“is it wrong to love you when your heart is some where else?”
What are your thoughts on the Blackberry and the Iphone. Which Phone would you get?
“thinking about how i should have put my money on the blackberry”
“you got me standing at the bottom of the moutain we built”
“everyone is so untrue it makes honestly alonely word.”
So, My friend brought this to my attention, “You should update more”. So, I’m updating, ABOUT TIME EH?! haha
Hmm, There isn’t much thats happening in my life.. OH wait! My grandmother who i was really close to just recently passed away. By recent i mean RECENT! She died on September 17th 2009 at 6:55PM. It was a sad moment for my family and I. Especially, for my mother (obviously). My grandmother was a type of a woman who was a perfectionist (like me), loves to cook (like my mother), and loves to sew ( like us both). We three were the only womans’ in the household. We held everything together. Together we were the power. Without us, the men in the household couldn’t function. This is the truth. Spend a day in my house without us.. There would be war. Anyways, Like i said, my grandmother passed away. Cause of this i have taken time off school for the semester and taken a week off work. I had recently returned and everything seemed soo weird. Counts, people, and etc were like all new to me. Strange huh?
My grandmother was diagnosed with Colon Cancer 10 months ago. A week after my 24 year old uncle died. It was a harsh news for my family to take it. being it was happening all too fast and at the same time. She didn’t go into treatment untill after a few months. But with healing came pain and she was in a lot of pain… may i repeat ALOT of pain! I wish i could have done something for her… But there really wasn’t. I honestly wished that i was a marvel superhero so i can take it all away from her.. That i had indestructable powers. It was far too late… By the time it was July (as you all know… I was in Japan for the month.. my family hid it from me so i can enjoy my time) it was diagnosed terminal cancer. That it had gone straight to her liver and major organs. We all know that The liver is pretty much the gatekeeper for the blood. It decides what goes with and without the blood. It was a hard fact for us to know… But it was reality. There was no running from the truth. Even though it was ugly. By the time, September rolled around my grandmother was in no position to walk or eat. We decided to take her to the hospital three days before her death. My mother was the one with her the majority of the time.
Thursday, finally came. The morning of thursday, i woke up really strange having a strange feelings. you can say that I cried not knowing why i did so. It felt as if my heart was ripped out, eaten and than puked out again. I remember clearly it was 12:54 Pm in the afternoon that my dad called me to tell me, to not go to work and to just stay home and visit my grandmother. At this time i didn’t know what was really going on. Or her end condition. All i knew at that time was she was in the hosiptal and was able to access the drugs she could have. The drugs that could make the pain go away. Anyways, I had a short arguement on the phone about how i couldn’t afford to take time off work (how selfish of me…) but he blurted out, “Grandma is dying…” those three words explained the feeling i felt that morning… Without thinking or speaking… I hung up and called work… Rachel picked up and i couldn’t mutter A THING on the phone. She literally had to ask me what was happening. I just balled and cried on the phone.. I couldn’t even tell her. For maybe a few short minutes, I finally spoke… muttering… my grandma is dying. That was it.. that was what i remember. Everything else was a blur.
Taking off the 5 days of work really helped me refresh my mind and think about everything i could about my grandma. I was obviously, depressed and probably still am. But i know now that she’s in a better place. She can finally after 39 years being away from her husband they are finally reunited at last. She will never have to suffer the pain she went through she can finally laugh like she use to. She was an amazing woman. Tomorrow (friday 25th of september) is her cremation. And I worte her a note and placed a photo of her grandchildren and her nieces/nephews. And of course her daughter.
