Business as Usual

Business as usual as you would say to any one who have asked how you have been or what is new. I never seem to have the idea of what to say when people ask me that. Seriously… what exactly has been new? Or what exactly that has been happening in my life? Honestly, I don’t think I have had much adventure in my life recently its always has been and maybe… just maybe… it will be just work. I can be wrong.. I could have so much happening in one day I’m just blinded by the goals that I had set for myself. Survive today.

Today, I don’t have a clue what exactly (just like my other posts, ha!)  I want to write. It’s been a while since I had been blogging. I mean… February is a while. We’re just rolling into the beginning of Summer Vacation for most people and business should be increasing along with tons of turn overs for companies. I have recently started looking for a new job I have applied to a total of 14 places. Three have contacted me via email to inform me that I was not a fit for their position, how depressing. But than again, I have a pretty stable job that keeps cash rolling in bi-weekly but recently it is not enough. I do exactly the same thing over and over again. I want a new environment… no… I NEED a new environment for my health and sanity state.

Maybe I’m having a mid life crisis.. but I’m not THAT old….

Writing in the corner of my bedroom…

Spea[K]indly

The heart.

Your mind tells you all kind of lies to protect your heart but your heart will never lie to your mind no matter what.

To Twitter or not to Twitter?

So, I am doing an global question to all my cyber friends and local strangers out there who use twitter. I have a friend who doesn’t have Facebook and has suggested me to use Twitter. However, I don’t really see the point of twitter and neither can he answer my question. Basically, I need you twitter folks to help me out and give me a pro and con and if it is worth the while!!

Cheers,
Spea[K]indly

Down Time

I don’t know what is up with me lately but I’m now tired. No, no! Not the “my-body-is-exhausted-tired” but its the “I’m tired of life” kind of tired. I’ve been working 6 to 7 days straight… I love… well at least I use to love my job. But i don’t anymore. Maybe I’m going through a phase right now. I don’t know what about my work that makes me so tired. I hate it.

One thing I know for sure is… I’m tired of having a crush on someone. I’m tired of always looking for the brighter day when Its exactly how it is. I’m just tired of it all. I want something new. I think I might just leave. I might just leave Vancouver. I’ve been here for so long, been doing the same thing over and over again, and been in the same house for AGES!

I understand that life isn’t easy. I understand that everyone goes through almost the same degree of saddness, joyful, and regret. I’m having a hard time accepting it though. I’m having a hard time loving the people I use to love.Its bitterful. If that’s a word.

As I was driving home from my 8 hour shift, which felt like years, I think I have thought of why I may just be angry or sad or whatever that is making me feel not myself… I think its trust.

I don’t really have that anymore. Trust isn’t in me to give anymore.

Trust me…?

If you trust me..then trust me and believe that I will protect everything that you tell me. If you can’t do that? Then don’t ever tell me how you feel cause if you can’t trust in me to keep what you need to be protected.. how can I?

Emotions

Today was my freedom from crazy emotions. Finally, do I ever feel soo free! I can’t believe that its been a year since I’ve been feeling soo tied to unexpected things. Thank you all for sticking by me. My true friends!

 

Spea[K]indly

Time

How much time do we have left in the world? Everything we do.. how much time do we have left to do the things we want? Say the things we want? I find myself spending and wasting so much time wondering these things.. But i can’t help but wonder…

 

I am always finding myself at the short end of the stick or… be the first in tears.. Why? Maybe i take things so personally… or maybe i’m so sensitive. I know one things for sure.. i dont waste my time on people that lie… or betray the people thats most important to me. I stand watching… seeing… hearing.. all the betrayal people cause to one another. People are always manipulative.. I find myself the person being maipulated. I believed. I trusted. But what did i really get out of all this… nothing. A broken heart and now an untrusted mind. I can’t trust so easily. For years, I don’t ever express my mind or what i want. You can’t expect that of me.. No one can. I don’t do or say because that is my defense barrier. That is whats protecting my princess. if you don’t know what i think or how i feel.. you aren’t part of my threasure box.. And given the chance.. maybe you will… But once i truly know what you are.. or how or what you do… And if i don’t like it… you will never be apart of my box. you will never be let in. That is all i have to say. Cruel. But the truth.

 

Spea[K]indly

Reality; Inception

Reality.. what is it? I’ve always wondered what reality really was. When I was a child, I use to think that everyone in the world was my minon and that they were there to see me, serve me, and to test me. See me struggle, serve me trials and test me on my knowledge.  In my point of view, the way I see things is… one view. I don’t see my face… I see my arms in front of me and my body in a downward way. I don’t know if thats how I am suppose to describe what I see. Do you remember that game… Perfect Dark? Where you control the body of a women and you only see her arms and her legs.. but you only see her face in the mirror. And that you can make it in the game were you get these guys to either protect, shoot or follow you? Its like that except its a lot more complicated in our world. However, in that game you’re the third person controlling her and I don’t see myself in third person unless I was dreaming… But what if I wasn’t dreaming. That I am that third person watching myself.. controling myself through a computer. What if this world is a dream or a nightmare some would call it? I guess you can tell that I have been watching Inception. I only watched it once… but I’m soo puzzled by it. I don’t understand. It has got me to think about what our world is like. Chris Nolan has got me all confused about our world. Is it really our world? Or is it mine? My world in which inception is the cause of something. An idea that was planted in me not of my own will… but if it is not of my own will… whose is it? Another being? Who gives me the thoughts of what I want?  Who caused me to think of it? Who caused me to start it? Who caused us? How do we know if this world is real? What if the strangers in my life are all my subconscious trying to protect my safe?

The movie, Inception, has really got me thinking… I’m thinking so hard that.. I’m starting to think that I’m stuck in some other world that I had created with my mind and that everything is happening to me is that cause of something else that I am afraid of. How do I explain what I mean? Even now, I am having trouble explaining on here how I mean.. Is this someone whose trying to prevent me from finding out the truth causing myself to wake up and finding myself in a capsule, attached to a bunch of breathing tools and my body was linked to a huge machine that generated my life. What if our life is the matrix? Where can I find my own totem… so I can determine if my world is the REAL reality?

My Wonders of the World

I don’t really have a review of anything today. I just realized that I haven’t really updated or posted in a while. There isn’t much new in my life.. But emotionally, I’ve finally found the person that makes me happy. Anyways, enough about me…

The toughes topic for me to talk about right now, at this moment, is death. Yes, many of you may think… death is hard for everyone and everyone has a moment in their life thats the shittiest ever. But for me… I feel that death is a good and a bad thing. If you look at the circumstances of the persons situation, such as mine, who had four deaths at once in a year. My grandmother who died from colon cancer, grandfather who died from leukemia, my baby cousin who died from unknown reasons, and my 5 year old cousin who died in a car accident. This may sound its crueliest but i’m glad they aren’t of this world anymore because they won’t suffer. I’m definitly glad that my grandmother isn’t of this world, death maybe the best thing that happened for her. She was suffering for sooo long and she was in such pain to a point that I couldn’t take it anymore. But she can finally be with my late grandfather, he died at the tender age of 26, a year after my mother was born, and have been seperated since.

I always have this thing in mind, with every death there is a new being that is born. So, i like to think my family members have been reborn into a better life. Even if they were born as an animal or a bug.. They get to start new and fresh.

Many of you maybe wondering what does my title have to do with this… Well… Exactly what i think. My wonders of the world is death and life.

I want to know how it works. What happens after you die? Do you go to another world that is all pure white and heavenly?! or do you melt away and become one with the world?! I’ve always wondered this. But I also want to live a full and eventful life. I have most def had many good years were tears were made and laughter bloomed. All thanks to the people I’ve met and to the person that made me realize what my life is about.. and how it doesn’t revolve around just one concept. That you can accept more then one.. its just if you believe in them.. which is it that is right for you? I’m going off on a tangent again. But you know… who cares?! You don’t run my blog. I do. Thats why we have them right.. thats why we claim them as ours. This is mine and it is your choice to read it.

I hope at least you will excuse my poor grammar and run on sentences.

Anywhose, Have a wonderful night.

My questions is, What are your wonders of the world?! What do you think happens when you die?

Flaws to Flawless

Two things!

I have come to realize how bad my writing skills are. However, I will still continue to write. Because we all very well know that if you continue and proofread your stuff, you will eventually get better at it. Also, reading tons will help and even build your volcabulary. I can already tell that last part is horrible. Right now, I’m too lazy to go over it. Maybe Later. No one reads this anyways…

Secondly, I really wanted to review on MUFE. WHAT?! you don’t know what MUFE means!! It basically means, Make Up ForEver. Its a make up product. You know that saying… Men like their women natural. Its true but most of the time its a load of bull @%^$. Come on, men like to have their women decent looking when they are on dates or hanging out. It shows that they are putting in some efforts for their men. Just like us women liking our men to look decent when we’re together. So vice versa!! ANYWAYS ENough about this.

Make Up Forever HD foundation is amazing! I like it tons. I’ve tried all these foundation products such as Lancome, Shiseido, MAC, and Clinique. They didn’t give me much coverage or matched my skin tone. They also made my skin break out, red, and irritated. Maybe it’s because of my skin type but I found that MUFE did less of that. It didn’t make me break out and was very easy to blend. If you ask my friends… I’m not very good at make up, such as preparing for night outs, clubs look etc, but i was able to get my foundation on soo smoothy and naturally. Out of all the products i tried… MUFE was by far the best for me. I’m an average looking girl with yellow undertones, and most products don’t have the yellow undertone to really match my skin, so it was tough. All the other products like clinique worked best for my mom, I’m guessing its because shes older?!, didn’t have the yellow undertone so it always made me look Flash white or too caked no matter what I did.

Some flaws about MUFE is the packaging of the container. They recently changed the pump to make it work better but I still found it the same. I had problems with getting the foundation out of the bottle, I had to pump it a couple of times before getting some and when I do.. TOO much comes out and I end up wasting. The make up is a little expensive but if you want a great product you have to spend a little more. Plus, once you start getting into doing make up money begins to add up. Its what being a women is all about. Its what you want. (going off on a tangent again.) Also, about the packaging, you can never really tell if you’ve REALLY run out of foundation. So when I think I have run out, I go to my local Sephora store and slurge on MUFE (which i don’t mind) HD foundation when I actually still have tons of foundation left. Like I said, I don’t mind spending money on MUFE but i spent it on their foundation when i could have brough their eye liner, which is another GREAT product!!, or their Faux lashes.

Concluding, I believe that MUFE HD foundation deserves 10/10 for great coverage and easy application but 7/10 for packaging. I don’t think I did a great review on the product. I don’t know what else i can say about it. This product makes me speechless. I think I have finally found my foundation I can finally rest easy. I also believe that everyone has their favorite foundation that works for them. By all means, you have your opinion and if you didn’t like it, I’d like to hear why? And this foundation may not be for you! BUT if you haven’t already give it a try. I recommend going to the Sephora store and ask the people that work there to help you find your shade. Ask them to put it on you and ask for a sample to try it out at home.