I don’t know what is up with me lately but I’m now tired. No, no! Not the “my-body-is-exhausted-tired” but its the “I’m tired of life” kind of tired. I’ve been working 6 to 7 days straight… I love… well at least I use to love my job. But i don’t anymore. Maybe I’m going through a phase right now. I don’t know what about my work that makes me so tired. I hate it.

One thing I know for sure is… I’m tired of having a crush on someone. I’m tired of always looking for the brighter day when Its exactly how it is. I’m just tired of it all. I want something new. I think I might just leave. I might just leave Vancouver. I’ve been here for so long, been doing the same thing over and over again, and been in the same house for AGES!

I understand that life isn’t easy. I understand that everyone goes through almost the same degree of saddness, joyful, and regret. I’m having a hard time accepting it though. I’m having a hard time loving the people I use to love.Its bitterful. If that’s a word.

As I was driving home from my 8 hour shift, which felt like years, I think I have thought of why I may just be angry or sad or whatever that is making me feel not myself… I think its trust.

I don’t really have that anymore. Trust isn’t in me to give anymore.

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